April 23, 2026

Hi Blog,

I was having this conversation with my roomate last night and decided I needed to document it. I’m not sure what the word is for this feeling I have, so I’m just going to describe it. Recently I have truly felt that I love art (whatever it’s corny I know), but feel hopless as a passive observer. I love singing, but I can’t sing. I love listening to people play their instruments, but I can’t play any. I love dancing (in my room only…), but I can’t actually dance. And I imagine that if I could paint, I would love painting and any canvas-based art. Recently I have just felt so sad that I can’t contribute to the art world in the way I want to. Yeah yeah whatever people can say writing down my thoughts is a form of expressive art but that’s not what I mean and you know it. I just have always felt like I can only be someone who watches but never someone who can give back. This kind of makes me sad. So I decided in my gap year I’m going to pick something up. I don’t know what it is, I’m leaning towards piano or guitar lessons. I just really want to do it for myself and give hopefully be able to contribute something meaningful to the world. Next semester I’m taking some electric guitar class so I’m excited for that! Till next time….

With Love,

  Girlalala